By Alex Weiss CFP® | President & Wealth Manager
When it comes to estate planning, assumptions can lead to misunderstandings—and misunderstandings can lead to unnecessary conflict. A common scenario we’ve seen with families is that no one is entirely sure of the intentions behind a loved one’s financial decisions.
Or worse, everyone is particularly sure that they know, but they don’t agree.
Every family is unique, but there are a few foundational pieces of advice we wish everyone would consider.
Open Communication Channels Early
If you wait until your will reading to communicate your wishes, you’ve waited too long. These conversations take intentionality, and in some cases, multiple conversations with time to reflect and discuss in between.
If you have specific intentions—like the desire to pass a sentimental property to the next generation—talk about it openly. Whether they’re 1-on-1, couple to couple, or a family meeting, you need honest conversations to make reliable plans.
Don’t Outgrow Your Documents
Decisions might be made after a family meeting, but conditions also change. Your documents need to reflect the reality on the ground. Divorces. New grandchildren. Relocating. Don’t leave gaps between your intentions and your documents.
Once you’ve communicated your plans, ensure they’re backed by legal documentation that reflects your wishes. This step is especially critical in cases like second marriages or blended families, where the risk of misunderstandings can be higher. If you trust the relationships, we strongly recommend sharing copies of the documents for your inheritors to review before putting your final signature on it. An ounce of cure and all of that.
Know When To Look At Professional Trustees
Few decisions are as important in financial planning as choosing trustees. The person or people you select need to have:
- An extremely clear, documented understanding of your wishes
- An accurate, nuanced understanding of the inheritors in play
- The technical competence to steward your financial complexity (taxes, investments, alts, property, etc)
We frequently find that in high-net-worth families, there isn’t currently an inheritor who checks all three boxes. This is even more the case in first-generation wealth households.
Maybe it’s not about competence. It could be about preventing feedback by putting specific family members in decision-making roles for the estate.
Why It Matters
Ultimately, these conversations aren’t about money—they’re about preserving family harmony and ensuring your legacy is honored in the way you intend. Don’t leave your family guessing. Start the dialogue now, document your intentions, and create a plan that leaves no room for confusion. If you need help facilitating these discussions or building an estate plan that works for your unique family, we’re here to guide you.
