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We get this question often—and sometimes we bring it up before our clients do. Not every family is eager to gather the next generation and open up the books. That makes sense. Many of our clients have built significant wealth, and the idea of “laying it all out” in front of children or new spouses can feel uncomfortable at best, risky at worst.
However, that is not what a good family meeting is about.
A well-run family meeting is not about disclosing every dollar. It is about clarity, continuity, and shared understanding. It is about making sure the right people know what to expect—and what roles they may need to play—if something unexpected happens.
What a Family Meeting Is (and Is Not)
We are not talking about a slideshow with net worth statements and estate documents on full display. Most of the meetings we facilitate focus on three things:
- The Plan: Who is involved, what happens if one spouse passes or becomes incapacitated, and how the estate or business transitions over time.
- The People: Who the advisors are (legal, tax, financial, insurance), what their roles are, and when to call them.
- The Expectations: How the plan is designed to unfold and what family members can count on—not just financially, but relationally.
A good family meeting leaves room for nuance. Many of our clients have complex personal dynamics: adult children with different lifestyles, remarriages, addiction or behavioral health issues, family-owned businesses, or beneficiaries with uneven levels of financial maturity. These meetings give space to address those big questions.
The Role We Play
We help facilitate these meetings in plain language, with a coordinated understanding of how all the pieces work together. It takes the pressure off you in terms of technical details and lets you focus on communicating intent, vision, and boundaries.
A Few Questions to Consider
If you are wondering whether it is time for a family meeting, here are a few good prompts to start with:
- Have your key decision-makers (spouses, trustees, successors) had a shared conversation about the plan?
- Would your adult children know who to call and what to expect if something happened tomorrow?
- Are there any family dynamics that could lead to confusion or conflict later if left unspoken today?
- Do you have notes or documentation from prior conversations to help anchor expectations over time?
Final Thought
We know these conversations are personal. That is exactly why they matter. A well-run family meeting does not need to be dramatic or detailed—but it does need to happen. If you would like help organizing one, we are doing this work every day and would be glad to walk through it with you.